Guest opinion
There's no excuse for poor manners
By Caroline Neeley Special to the Acorn

If what I experienced last week is any indication of our future with today's youths, we're in trouble.

Being athletic myself I often visit local events; whether it's baseball, basketball or track and field, I like to watch the upandcoming stars of tomorrow.

This past week I was at a track and field competition. I was relaxed, leaning up against the fence minding my own business, when suddenly from behind I hear a young voice say, "Excuse me." I turned to respond with a smile, to find a young boy around the age of 10- we'll call him "Mark"- announce to me that I couldn't stand where I was and I would have to move.

Surprised at his nerve, I asked why? He went on to say that his mother, an apparent adult, told him not to allow anyone near their chairs and cooler. Keeping my cool, I asked him, "Where's your mom?"

He said, "She's over there," pointing toward the snack bar.

Politely, I said, "I'll speak to your mother when she gets back."

"Mark" wandered off with a worried look on his face.

A few minutes later he was back. Slumping in the perfectly positioned beach chair, he began to annoyingly bang and ping on the fence, obviously to draw attention. I imagine he thought that if he annoyed me enough I would move. At the same time he was demanding, with a mouthful of potty words, that a teammate move, too. With a firm tone in my voice, I turned and said, "I don't know where you've heard those words, but that's enough."

A few more minutes went by, and still there was no sign of Mom, but Grandma showed up with her folding chair in hand. "Mark" accusingly tells her all about me not moving and that Mom said no one was to stand there. He continued with, "I asked her nicely, and she won't leave; she's in the way," etc., you get the picture.

I was about 30 seconds away from eating his head when finally Grandma said, "Enough, don't be so rude." Hallelujah, his mouth was sealed.

As I turned to walk away I thought for a moment- should I let this go or say something? I realize times have changed since I was a wee lassie, in that children are heard loud and clear now, even when that voice is rude and disrespectful. I can tell you this with certainty, if I spoke to an adult in the manner "Mark" spoke to me, my mother would have slapped me into next week. I can only imagine, if this is how "Mark" spoke to a stranger, what's he like at home?

So back to deciding whether I was going to say something or not. I did. Grandma was a very nice respectful lady, but she made excuses for "Mark's" behavior. He's hyper; he takes medication.

That's what's wrong with today's youths; everyone has an excuse or an explanation for their bad behavior. Enough! How will they learn the challenges of life if they're not held accountable? And how will they learn to overcome rejection and stand up for their beliefs if they're cradled and handed responsibilities far beyond their age? At 10 years old having the responsibility of telling an adult where she can and cannot stand in a public place is beyond me, and it's certainly not teaching respect or politeness.

"Treat people the same way you want to be treated. Respect your elders and don't talk back." These are words that resonate loud and clear from my childhood. Where did they go? If change isn't made, respect isn't taught and politeness isn't learned, my future and everyone else who's part of my generation is in trouble.

Caroline Neeley is a conflict negotiator, anger management counselor and motivational speaker. She can be reached at (805) 484-5134.