Resolve to encourage kids' imagination, self-esteem
By Caroline Neeley Special to the Acorn

Philosophers theorize that babies are born with a clean slate and are shaped by the environment they are exposed to and the behaviors they learn.

Our parents have the ability to direct and tame the savage beast that would otherwise lie within an untamed existence. Our very accomplishments and personal achievements can be drawn from the teachings of our parents.

Or can they?

Recently I was holiday shopping at a local store with my daughter. As we approached the toy section, I could hear a mother scolding her child for removing toys from the shelves. Clearly the woman was frustrated; it was getting late and, no doubt, like everyone else, she was tired and wanted to get home.

But this is a child in the middle of the toy section. Asking a child not to touch the toys is like taking a kid into a candy store and telling him that he can look but can't smell or taste.

The mother, sadly, was oblivious to the attention she was bringing to herself because of her unrealistic expectation. No one openly questioned her actions, however, probably because they wanted to avoid public confrontation and possible ridicule.

Parenting definitely has its tough moments and trying times, but let's remember, too, that we shape these impressionable minds by our own actions and behaviors; our children inevitably will mimic us.

Parents should try to shape their children's minds with finger puppets, brightly colored books and imaginative bedtime stories.

Imagination is a wonderful place to visit sometimes because it's stuffed full of action-packed visions, brightly colored characters, fair maidens, handsome princes or the idea that one day one could become a star athlete. Whatever the vision, it's healthy to explore far-off lands in books or to imagine sailing the seven seas with Capt. Jack Sparrow.

The generation that comes after us is our future, and the most successful people today have imaginations that would make your toes curl.

This next generation is our opportunity for a golden retirement if we raise them right today. We as parents must teach them selfimportance and value. Give them a sense of pride and the hope that they can make a difference. Teach them to never walk in anyone's shadow and to always strive for nothing less than their best.

Failure is an opportunity to begin again more intelligently. Teach your children to not marinate themselves in failure, but to swallow their pride, savor their dignity and live with a belief system that will surpass any amount of money, luxury cars or fancy shmancy homes.

My New Year's wish for you is this: Teach your children how to be leaders and lead the way for others, to achieve great things with their feet firmly planted on the ground. Travel often with them to the world of imagination.

But most of all, when you see that someone's fuse is about to ignite, don't turn away; offer words of encouragement and a soothing smile. You will be amazed at how quickly stress becomes a thing of the past when faced with empathy and compassion.

Have a happy and safe new year, and remember: Happiness is a way of life, not a destination.

© Dec. 2007. Caroline Neeley, is a conflict negotiator, anger management counselor and humorous motivational speaker. Call her at (805) 484-5134.