Staying strong for 65 years
By Michelle Knight knight@theacorn.com

Max and Phyllis Grant can't remember what drew them to each other but they know what has kept them together for 65 years.

"We do just about everything together," Max Grant, 87, said. They resolve issues together and Phyllis said she considers Max the head of the house.

"I don't think we've had any big disagreements," said 83yearold Phyllis Grant. "We just don't have any big crises."

The Grants said they respect each other and have the same mind about finances.

Max Grant insists they live within their means and not buy anything on credit.

Acting on advice given to him by Joe Levy, one-time Bank of A. Levy owner, that "Americans can live on less," Max Grant has paid for just about everything they own with cash, including nearly every car they have had.

The Grants also said they spoil each other by putting the other one's interests first.

"We don't go by this 50-50 stuff; we go 90-90," Max Grant said.

It also helps to have a sense of humor and view marriage as a lifelong commitment, they said.

Max and Phyllis Grant

"It's my responsibility to take care of her the rest of her life," Max Grant said.

"Good answer, honey," his wife said.

The Grants say they do enjoy some separate activities, however.

Max works out regularly at the gym and walks several miles a week. He enjoys building wooden clocks, like the stately one that sits on their fireplace mantle.

Phyllis collects turtles. She decorates the inside and outside of their house with turtle figurines and cares for a few live box turtles. She also collects miniature Swiss-style houses and assembles them into villages.

Several tiny German villages are displayed in the living room of the hilltop house they've lived in for 43 years. It's here that they raised their two children. Melinda Phillips, 56, lives in Washington and their son, 50-year-old James Grant, is a Camarillo resident.

James Grant credits his parents' deep faith in God for the longevity of their marriage.

"I think they've been patient with each other over the years plus their . . . religion has played a deep role in their success," he said.

Max and Phyllis grew up together in Somis. He was in fifth grade when he met 5-year-old Phyllis Cooper.

Despite their five age year difference, Max and Phyllis moved in the same circles in the tiny community. Their parents and grandparents were good friends and often played cards together. The young people back then spent much of their time socializing with one another after church, the Grants said.

"We practically don't know life without knowing one another," Max Grant said.

When Phyllis was 16, their friendship turned to love, and they were married a couple of years later on Nov. 9, 1942.

"As we get older, our live grows deeper," Phyllis said.

After Max was discharged from the Air Force, he took over the family newspaper distribution business in Camarillo. He and Phyllis owned a downtown building- once leased to the Ranch Boy restaurant, now home to Mongolian Barbeque- for nearly 20 years. They sold the building in 1978.

Their ties to Camarillo go so far back that a friend asked Max to help her write an account of the city's history. He's co-author of "Camarillo Incorporated and Early Times," published in 2006. The book is available at the Pleasant Valley Historical Museum and the Chamber of Commerce.

Max Grant has been active with the Chamber of Commerce and the Rotary Club and spent 17 years volunteering with the Meals on Wheels program.

Phyllis Grant has for years volunteered with their church.

Max and Phyllis say that marriages often fail because couples don't have the support of their families, are of different faiths or don't know each other well enough.

"They just don't take their vows seriously," Phyllis Grant said.

In addition to their two children, Max and Phyllis Grant have four grandchildren and three great grandchildren.